I do not ask for much. I make an attempt to take care of you and expect you to be there for me and take kindly to the foods I choose to eat. Sure, it is a poor attempt, but a poor attempt is better than not thinking of you at all when making my dining choices.
You know how picky I am. I am this way for you.
When is the last time I battered you with hot sauces? Months. When is the last time fruit has passed through you? Weeks. Do you even know what a salad is? I think not.
All I ask is that you cooperate with me on the days I choose to stuff myself with ice cream and cereal. I know that I have put you through a cereal overload as of late, but you know how much I adore Lucky Charms, Golden Grahams, Fruit Loops, Cap'n Crunch and the like. And if I recall correctly, I have not treated myself to them in a very long time.
I was hoping that the nausea, stomach cramps and increased toilet time were a fluke- signs of you re-acclimating yourself to the finer things in life- but no, I have come to realize they are not. And because I am as dedicated as I am, I have given you four gallons of milk over the last month trying to help you get used to the feeling of deliciousness.
But you continue to play hardball. So much, that I cannot even enjoy cheese like I used to, for fear that I may have a series of unfortunate accidents should I decide to leave the house after eating.
Why must thou forsake me?
I am hurt.
You can call yourself the victor for now, but I refuse to succumb to your evil ways.
I will not, I repeat, will not be defeated.
ONE DAY, I AGAIN WILL BE TOLERANT!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
An Open Letter to Men Who Want to Fuck Me,
It doesn't matter where we met... via the internet, social networking or standing at the bar, there are a few things I think you should know to prevent you from 1) getting cut or 2)being ignored by me indefinitely.
First, I do not wear women's clothes because it sexually excites me, so please forgive me if I do not share your same enthusiasm when you ask what I am wearing. Also do not ask me to wear a costume or special shoes or anything of that nature, especially when you want to come over at four in the morning, because it will make your fantasy better. If you want me to wear stilettos and a mini dress and 10 wigs and paint a pageant face, then don't be surprised if I ask you to pay me. I put on lots of hair and makeup for work, and like every other person who goes to work, they collect a paycheck at the end. If it just so happens that I am already in high whore drag, then I may consider keeping it on if the dick seems promising.
When you ask "what are you looking for" and I tell you that I want something with no strings attached, that should be your cue to not kill it down with a thousand questions like "why don't you have a man" and "what kind of movies do you like" and "where are your favorite places to go". In case you weren't aware, a no strings attached fling translates to come over, fuck me and don't ask questions. If I wanted to know your name or your favorite color or your favorite song, then we would be out on a date- not in my bed.
You don't have to reassure me that you are straight. I understand that you are attracted to me because of my feminine qualities. The fact that I have a dick has no bearing on my opinion of you. You don't have to have anything to do with it if you don't want to. Further, you don't have to tell me I'm pretty or that I look like a woman. I gave you my phone number and directions to my house- I'm a sure thing. I own a mirror, so I know that I am pretty and look like a woman...and no, I'm not being conceited.
I did not go to bed last night a size 4, so I was not surprised to wake up this morning being a size 28. Despite what you may think, I do pretty good for myself, so I can be picky. I am fat, not desperate. If I tell you no, then move along. Also, if we meet at bar or club, don't expect me to be excited that you are hitting on me. It happens every day. Usually, I am only talking to you because I am being polite; don't mistake my manners for interest. Also, don't be ignorant and think that because I am being polite that I am going to buy you a drink.
There is nothing I appreciate more than a hot man who approaches me, tells me he wants to fuck my brains out and then is honest when he says he may or may not call me for more later on.
Some people say that makes me a whore, I say it makes me an honest woman.
If you don't like it, fuck you. If you do, then fuck me.
-Addison
First, I do not wear women's clothes because it sexually excites me, so please forgive me if I do not share your same enthusiasm when you ask what I am wearing. Also do not ask me to wear a costume or special shoes or anything of that nature, especially when you want to come over at four in the morning, because it will make your fantasy better. If you want me to wear stilettos and a mini dress and 10 wigs and paint a pageant face, then don't be surprised if I ask you to pay me. I put on lots of hair and makeup for work, and like every other person who goes to work, they collect a paycheck at the end. If it just so happens that I am already in high whore drag, then I may consider keeping it on if the dick seems promising.
When you ask "what are you looking for" and I tell you that I want something with no strings attached, that should be your cue to not kill it down with a thousand questions like "why don't you have a man" and "what kind of movies do you like" and "where are your favorite places to go". In case you weren't aware, a no strings attached fling translates to come over, fuck me and don't ask questions. If I wanted to know your name or your favorite color or your favorite song, then we would be out on a date- not in my bed.
You don't have to reassure me that you are straight. I understand that you are attracted to me because of my feminine qualities. The fact that I have a dick has no bearing on my opinion of you. You don't have to have anything to do with it if you don't want to. Further, you don't have to tell me I'm pretty or that I look like a woman. I gave you my phone number and directions to my house- I'm a sure thing. I own a mirror, so I know that I am pretty and look like a woman...and no, I'm not being conceited.
I did not go to bed last night a size 4, so I was not surprised to wake up this morning being a size 28. Despite what you may think, I do pretty good for myself, so I can be picky. I am fat, not desperate. If I tell you no, then move along. Also, if we meet at bar or club, don't expect me to be excited that you are hitting on me. It happens every day. Usually, I am only talking to you because I am being polite; don't mistake my manners for interest. Also, don't be ignorant and think that because I am being polite that I am going to buy you a drink.
There is nothing I appreciate more than a hot man who approaches me, tells me he wants to fuck my brains out and then is honest when he says he may or may not call me for more later on.
Some people say that makes me a whore, I say it makes me an honest woman.
If you don't like it, fuck you. If you do, then fuck me.
-Addison
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day
Father,
You have been gone now for over ten years. It feels like so much longer...not because I miss you, but because I have grown so much as a person in those ten years that I know I will never let anyone treat me the way you did ever again.
I forgive you. However, I will never forget the things you put me and Josh through. I will never forget the way you treated mom. I will never forget your horrible temper. I will never forget the clothes brush, the paddle, the whatever you could get your hands on. I will never forget the lies or excuses you gave to everyone. I will never forget the way you treated women. I will never forget how cold and manipulative and evil you were.
I will always remember the suffering you endured. I will always remember your last words. I will always remember the regret in your eyes. But luckily for me, I have already forgotten your face.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dad,
Thank you for loving and accepting me unconditionally even when I couldn't love or accept myself. You are probably the most caring and genuine person I have ever met, and even though we are on separate continents, I can still feel your love. Thank you for taking care of mom and grandma and for giving us Gabriel. Thank you for staying strong and committed and positive for the last 4 years.
I can't wait until you get home and until we all can see your face again.
I love you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Daddy,
Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for not letting me starve or go without a home. Thank you for defending me. Thank you for being my biggest fan.
Thank you for everything else you would have done these past three years had I not been selfish or shady.
I miss your company, I miss your friendship, I miss your honesty and your patience.
I look forward to the day when I can correct the wrongs I did and show you that person no longer exists.
I'm happy that you are happy and healthy.
You have been gone now for over ten years. It feels like so much longer...not because I miss you, but because I have grown so much as a person in those ten years that I know I will never let anyone treat me the way you did ever again.
I forgive you. However, I will never forget the things you put me and Josh through. I will never forget the way you treated mom. I will never forget your horrible temper. I will never forget the clothes brush, the paddle, the whatever you could get your hands on. I will never forget the lies or excuses you gave to everyone. I will never forget the way you treated women. I will never forget how cold and manipulative and evil you were.
I will always remember the suffering you endured. I will always remember your last words. I will always remember the regret in your eyes. But luckily for me, I have already forgotten your face.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dad,
Thank you for loving and accepting me unconditionally even when I couldn't love or accept myself. You are probably the most caring and genuine person I have ever met, and even though we are on separate continents, I can still feel your love. Thank you for taking care of mom and grandma and for giving us Gabriel. Thank you for staying strong and committed and positive for the last 4 years.
I can't wait until you get home and until we all can see your face again.
I love you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Daddy,
Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for not letting me starve or go without a home. Thank you for defending me. Thank you for being my biggest fan.
Thank you for everything else you would have done these past three years had I not been selfish or shady.
I miss your company, I miss your friendship, I miss your honesty and your patience.
I look forward to the day when I can correct the wrongs I did and show you that person no longer exists.
I'm happy that you are happy and healthy.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Dear Premarin .625,
I'd just like to thank you for making me even more crazy than I already am. We have had encounters before, but these are definitely the ones I didn't want.
You may remember years ago, when we started our relationship, that you put a voice in my head that told me to take as many of you as I could get because it would speed up the results. 1) It didn't and 2) you made me an emotional wreck.
How emotional?
Remember when I was making a sandwich in the kitchen and dropped half of it on the floor and cried for half an hour? I remember it well.
How about the times I watched TV and cried at every commercial that came on for starving children, sick adults and natural disasters? I remember it well.
How about the time I got so pickled on your power that my liver started giving me issues and I had to be admitted to the hospital? I remember it well (and I am still paying the damn bills).
Those were fun times.
I ended our relationship then for several years until about 10 weeks ago. This time, I have decided to stick to the given dosage (even though you put that voice back in my head) and have tried to control my alcohol intake and change my eating habits. Perhaps this is why I haven't been trying to crawl out of my skin.
But lately, I have noticed that you have given me a new gift: depression.
It's nice to wake up on a beautiful afternoon, start my day, and as soon as I step outside want to crawl back into bed.
It's nice to know that I am loved and supported now more than I ever have been before in my entire life, but want to cry all day long because I feel alone.
It's nice to convince myself that I am happy and okay and then have everyone in the world ask what's wrong with me.
Fuck you for making me feel this way, but you will not get the last of me.
Our first tryst taught me to be strong and keep a level head no matter what was thrown at me. Even though you have put me in the most horrible funk EVER, I will keep my head up and put a smile on my face and let you do the medical miracles that you do.
I'm asking you nicely, please don't start any more shit.
Love,
Addison
You may remember years ago, when we started our relationship, that you put a voice in my head that told me to take as many of you as I could get because it would speed up the results. 1) It didn't and 2) you made me an emotional wreck.
How emotional?
Remember when I was making a sandwich in the kitchen and dropped half of it on the floor and cried for half an hour? I remember it well.
How about the times I watched TV and cried at every commercial that came on for starving children, sick adults and natural disasters? I remember it well.
How about the time I got so pickled on your power that my liver started giving me issues and I had to be admitted to the hospital? I remember it well (and I am still paying the damn bills).
Those were fun times.
I ended our relationship then for several years until about 10 weeks ago. This time, I have decided to stick to the given dosage (even though you put that voice back in my head) and have tried to control my alcohol intake and change my eating habits. Perhaps this is why I haven't been trying to crawl out of my skin.
But lately, I have noticed that you have given me a new gift: depression.
It's nice to wake up on a beautiful afternoon, start my day, and as soon as I step outside want to crawl back into bed.
It's nice to know that I am loved and supported now more than I ever have been before in my entire life, but want to cry all day long because I feel alone.
It's nice to convince myself that I am happy and okay and then have everyone in the world ask what's wrong with me.
Fuck you for making me feel this way, but you will not get the last of me.
Our first tryst taught me to be strong and keep a level head no matter what was thrown at me. Even though you have put me in the most horrible funk EVER, I will keep my head up and put a smile on my face and let you do the medical miracles that you do.
I'm asking you nicely, please don't start any more shit.
Love,
Addison
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Dear Ignorant Driver at the Toll Booth,
I know that the concept of toll roads and the fees that go along with them confuse some of you, but seriously, get your shit together. Chances are you drive on the toll road every day, yet always seemed surprised that there is a perplexing booth that demands money along your journey.
Normally, at large exits, there are people who operate these booths and can make change if needed. These are called toll collectors. They will make change, hit a button and give you the okay to proceed along your trip.
Some toll plazas even separate the lines to make it convenient for everyone on the road. For example, there are automated “exact change only” lines, “change provided” lines and even lines for people that pre-pay their tolls. In cases like this, it is vitally important for you, the driver, to make sure you are entering the correct lane. How embarrassing it must be for you to pull into an “exact change” lane to find that you have only a dollar bill in your possession. The visible formation of a line behind you while you dig through your console to look for change can be unnerving. Even more unnerving, the blaring of horns while you put your car in park, open the door and check the ground around the toll for spare change dropped by other motorists only to find that there isn’t any. Then you have to do the “grown up” version of the walk of shame and get out of your car to ask the motorist behind you to make change.
Sometimes you can’t face the embarrassment of asking for change so you will pull up to the very front of the sensor and hope that the person behind you would be nice enough to pay their toll twice so you can get a free pass. Sometimes you just like to show your ignorance by putting your car in park and sit there astounded that a machine actually had the nerve to ask you for money to proceed. My favorite, the people who park and then pull out their cell phones and call someone to ask them what to do.
How can this confusion and embarrassment be avoided? It’s quite simple.
BE. FUCKING. PREPARED.
If you are paying with coins, it is best to have your payment ready before it is your turn. Have the money in your hand as you pull up to the booth, deposit it, and be on your way. If you decide to pay with cash and need change, once again have your money ready. Also heed the posted signs that say bills larger than a $20 are not accepted. If you do pay with a large bill, do not bitch and moan to the toll collector that your change is in $1 bills. The reason this happens is because hundreds upon hundreds of motorists who are prepared and considerate drivers who can read and follow directions pay with small bills. As a result, there is not a drawer full of change to accommodate assholes who decide to pay a $0.50 toll with a $100 bill.
In the rare instance that you find yourself driving on a toll road without any money, you should proceed with caution through the express lane. The highway authority allows for motorists to have 2 unpaid tolls in a 30 day period because even they understand that not everyone can have their shit together at all times. It happens. Consider that a free pass on your stupidity. These policies and amenities have been set up to serve a high volume of motorists in a short period of time.
Remember, toll toads are called expressways. Express means quick.
So make sure your shit is together and hurry the fuck up.
Sincerely,
Addison
Normally, at large exits, there are people who operate these booths and can make change if needed. These are called toll collectors. They will make change, hit a button and give you the okay to proceed along your trip.
Some toll plazas even separate the lines to make it convenient for everyone on the road. For example, there are automated “exact change only” lines, “change provided” lines and even lines for people that pre-pay their tolls. In cases like this, it is vitally important for you, the driver, to make sure you are entering the correct lane. How embarrassing it must be for you to pull into an “exact change” lane to find that you have only a dollar bill in your possession. The visible formation of a line behind you while you dig through your console to look for change can be unnerving. Even more unnerving, the blaring of horns while you put your car in park, open the door and check the ground around the toll for spare change dropped by other motorists only to find that there isn’t any. Then you have to do the “grown up” version of the walk of shame and get out of your car to ask the motorist behind you to make change.
Sometimes you can’t face the embarrassment of asking for change so you will pull up to the very front of the sensor and hope that the person behind you would be nice enough to pay their toll twice so you can get a free pass. Sometimes you just like to show your ignorance by putting your car in park and sit there astounded that a machine actually had the nerve to ask you for money to proceed. My favorite, the people who park and then pull out their cell phones and call someone to ask them what to do.
How can this confusion and embarrassment be avoided? It’s quite simple.
BE. FUCKING. PREPARED.
If you are paying with coins, it is best to have your payment ready before it is your turn. Have the money in your hand as you pull up to the booth, deposit it, and be on your way. If you decide to pay with cash and need change, once again have your money ready. Also heed the posted signs that say bills larger than a $20 are not accepted. If you do pay with a large bill, do not bitch and moan to the toll collector that your change is in $1 bills. The reason this happens is because hundreds upon hundreds of motorists who are prepared and considerate drivers who can read and follow directions pay with small bills. As a result, there is not a drawer full of change to accommodate assholes who decide to pay a $0.50 toll with a $100 bill.
In the rare instance that you find yourself driving on a toll road without any money, you should proceed with caution through the express lane. The highway authority allows for motorists to have 2 unpaid tolls in a 30 day period because even they understand that not everyone can have their shit together at all times. It happens. Consider that a free pass on your stupidity. These policies and amenities have been set up to serve a high volume of motorists in a short period of time.
Remember, toll toads are called expressways. Express means quick.
So make sure your shit is together and hurry the fuck up.
Sincerely,
Addison
Monday, June 14, 2010
To Whom It May Concern,
Welcome to my blog. Some of you may know me in real life, some may know me from the drag community, some may know me from school, some may know me from old social media sites. If you fall into one of these categories, then you already know lots about me and will continue to learn with each posting.
Some of you may be complete strangers. To you I say welcome. I have been told by many that my life is very interesting and I get to do many fun things- but I, however, think my day to day adventures are kind of mundane and boring, so I guess this is where my knack for telling a story comes into play.
This blog will be a collection of many things: mostly about encounters I have with people at work, at play, at the grocery store, etc. Some stories will be funny, some will be serious and some will probably make no sense whatsoever. I have decided to call this blog "To Whom It May Concern" because I feel that most of the entries will be letters to people I encounter in my day to day life. The format could change, we'll see.
Chances are I will use foul language and offend some people, but I would appreciate if you stick around for a while, perhaps subscribe to my updates, and if you enjoy what you read, then tell some people about it. Nothing I say should be taken to heart...writing is just a way for me to clear my head.
I will not post on a schedule. When I feel like writing, I'll write. It may be once a day, once a week, hell, this could be my last entry (I doubt that), but I hope to stay motivated to keep this going for a long time.
Until later,
Addison Taylor
Some of you may be complete strangers. To you I say welcome. I have been told by many that my life is very interesting and I get to do many fun things- but I, however, think my day to day adventures are kind of mundane and boring, so I guess this is where my knack for telling a story comes into play.
This blog will be a collection of many things: mostly about encounters I have with people at work, at play, at the grocery store, etc. Some stories will be funny, some will be serious and some will probably make no sense whatsoever. I have decided to call this blog "To Whom It May Concern" because I feel that most of the entries will be letters to people I encounter in my day to day life. The format could change, we'll see.
Chances are I will use foul language and offend some people, but I would appreciate if you stick around for a while, perhaps subscribe to my updates, and if you enjoy what you read, then tell some people about it. Nothing I say should be taken to heart...writing is just a way for me to clear my head.
I will not post on a schedule. When I feel like writing, I'll write. It may be once a day, once a week, hell, this could be my last entry (I doubt that), but I hope to stay motivated to keep this going for a long time.
Until later,
Addison Taylor
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