An Open Letter to Men Who Want to Fuck Me,

It doesn't matter where we met... via the internet, social networking or standing at the bar, there are a few things I think you should know to prevent you from 1) getting cut or 2)being ignored by me indefinitely.

First, I do not wear women's clothes because it sexually excites me, so please forgive me if I do not share your same enthusiasm when you ask what I am wearing. Also do not ask me to wear a costume or special shoes or anything of that nature, especially when you want to come over at four in the morning, because it will make your fantasy better. If you want me to wear stilettos and a mini dress and 10 wigs and paint a pageant face, then don't be surprised if I ask you to pay me. I put on lots of hair and makeup for work, and like every other person who goes to work, they collect a paycheck at the end. If it just so happens that I am already in high whore drag, then I may consider keeping it on if the dick seems promising.

When you ask "what are you looking for" and I tell you that I want something with no strings attached, that should be your cue to not kill it down with a thousand questions like "why don't you have a man" and "what kind of movies do you like" and "where are your favorite places to go". In case you weren't aware, a no strings attached fling translates to come over, fuck me and don't ask questions. If I wanted to know your name or your favorite color or your favorite song, then we would be out on a date- not in my bed.

You don't have to reassure me that you are straight. I understand that you are attracted to me because of my feminine qualities. The fact that I have a dick has no bearing on my opinion of you. You don't have to have anything to do with it if you don't want to. Further, you don't have to tell me I'm pretty or that I look like a woman. I gave you my phone number and directions to my house- I'm a sure thing. I own a mirror, so I know that I am pretty and look like a woman...and no, I'm not being conceited.

I did not go to bed last night a size 4, so I was not surprised to wake up this morning being a size 28. Despite what you may think, I do pretty good for myself, so I can be picky. I am fat, not desperate. If I tell you no, then move along. Also, if we meet at bar or club, don't expect me to be excited that you are hitting on me. It happens every day. Usually, I am only talking to you because I am being polite; don't mistake my manners for interest. Also, don't be ignorant and think that because I am being polite that I am going to buy you a drink.

There is nothing I appreciate more than a hot man who approaches me, tells me he wants to fuck my brains out and then is honest when he says he may or may not call me for more later on.

Some people say that makes me a whore, I say it makes me an honest woman.

If you don't like it, fuck you. If you do, then fuck me.

-Addison